From chaos to strength: how alcohol took the wheel of my life and why I chose to live alcohol-free
The arrival of my son, our third child, on January 1st, was a turning point for me.
Not only was the date special, but his birth happened in an unexpected place: right there in the car, on the side of the road, in someone’s driveway.
That wild birth was just one of many transformations in my life. My husband and I, as individuals and as a family, have been through massive changes since we reconnected four years ago. Growth, challenges, and a whole lot of love have shaped us.
A love that came full circle
When I say we reconnected, I mean it literally. We were childhood friends, neighbors even from kindergarten until my family moved away. He was my first crush, my first kiss, the boy I built a playhouse with. Twenty-seven years later, we found each other again. We didn’t waste time: four years, three kids, and a lifetime of adventures together.
The birth of Sober Power Moms
As my maternity leave ended, our family had to adjust to life as a party of five. At the same time, Sober Power Moms was born: a blog, a newsletter, an Instagram page, and a Facebook group.
Living alcohol-free in Flanders is a bit rebellious. Belgium’s beer culture is so strong, it’s officially recognized by UNESCO. In 2022, Belgium was the fifth largest beer producer in Europe and ranks among the top 25 countries for alcohol consumption.
So yeah, going sober here? That’s a statement.
Alcohol: a normalized, yet destructive force
If you’d told me five years ago that I’d be living alcohol-free, I would’ve laughed, wine glass in hand. And yet, here I am.
I never labeled myself an alcoholic. But I knew I had a problem with both alcohol and cocaine. Both were symptoms of something deeper. It didn’t start overnight. My journey began with warm beer at my first party, Bacardi Breezers my mom bought me, and the first time I drank too much and got sick. Alcohol was woven into every stage of my life.
How alcohol became my normal
In college, drinking was just what you did: happy hours after class, and always more drinks at home. Studying in French was tough, and alcohol helped me cope. That’s when the nightly bottle of red wine started, out of boredom, loneliness. Graduation, work, living alone, always close to the bars. My social life revolved around drinking, and eventually, other drugs.
From a young age, we’re taught that drinking is just part of life. I was bullied as a kid, and alcohol became my confidence booster. Goodbye, insecurity, hello, ‘fun’ Karlien. At least, that’s how I saw myself with a drink in hand.
The wake-up call
Getting caught driving drunk didn’t stop me it just made me more cautious. But hangovers behind the wheel are just as dangerous. Soon, drinking moved from bars to my home, nearly every night.
The pandemic only made it worse: a pack of cigarettes a day, one or two bottles of wine, and cocaine to stay awake. Eventually, even that wasn’t enough.
Then everything changed. I left it all behind, started a new life with my best friend, and became a mom.
The turning point
Nine months of pregnancy meant nine months sober, a tough birth, recovery, and four months of breastfeeding. Then came that first glass of wine again, full of doubt, craving, and guilt.
That guilt grew when I started having blackouts, forgetting moments with my kids. Fights with my husband, things spiraling out of control.
The decision
I started drinking again because I thought I could handle it. But in the summer of 2022, I realized: if anything happened, I couldn’t even drive my daughter to the doctor because I’d been drinking. That was it. I quit for good. Was it easy? When life was smooth, yes. But in tough times, it was hard. Did I drink in secret? Yes. For long? No. Guilt and responsibility stopped me. Later, I read Allen Carr’s “The Easy Way to Stop Drinking” and something finally clicked.
Life without alcohol: rediscovering myself
Since going sober, I’ve had to face a lot. I realized how unhappy I was, in my job, in myself, in my lack of goals. I used to live day-to-day, hangover to hangover, chasing quick dopamine with alcohol and drugs. Suddenly, that was gone, and I was forced to look at what was really missing.
I had to reinvent myself as a mom, as a woman, as Karlien. Who was I, really, without the mask of alcohol? I used to stay out until sunrise; now I find energy in solitude.
After twelve years, I changed jobs, twice. I took the leap into the unknown, from museum collections manager to inside sales in the medical device sector. Why? To be closer to my family. I now work 100% from home.
I set new goals, started reading again, began a coaching course, chose homeschooling with my husband, launched Sober Power Moms, started journaling, and squeeze the most out of every day.
I’m LIVING.
I choose myself now. I choose my priorities and my goals.
I won’t lower the bar anymore.
There’s no room for poison.
P.S. I barely found a photo of myself holding a drink. Deep down, I guess I always knew it wasn’t right.
You have the power to choose
Your story isn’t finished. You have the power to write the next chapter.
You can stay stuck in old patterns, or you can break free and create the life you truly want.
What if today is the day you take the first step?
What if you give yourself permission to grow, to change, to let go of what no longer serves you?
You don’t have to do it alone. Sober Power Moms is here for you, a community for inspiration, support, and motivation.
Connect with other moms on the same path. Sign up for the newsletter, follow us on Instagram, or join the Sober Power Moms Facebook group.
So, what do you choose today?
Much love,
Karlien
English